Feature

Do you know this feeling?

By June Miskell

8 March, 2019

This text is in dialogue with the exhibition Do You Know This Feeling? at Firstdraft. Curated by Sebastian Henry-Jones, the exhibition featured the work of Arben Dzika, Athena Thebus, Cee Powell, Chi Tran, Cristine Brache, Frontyard, IchikawaEdward, JD Reforma and Trinh T. Minh-Ha.

This text riffs off JD Reforma’s work Why should I be sad? (2019) comprised of 275 motivational images sourced from the Instagram account of Britney Spears. It is written entirely in citations using Britney Spears’ lyrics and text from the exhibition.

I’m looking at a picture in my hand1, thinking about the times that we’ve been through.2 How was I to know that I’d miss you so?3 It feels like a hurricane.4 I think of all the time that I’ve wasted thinking about you,5 trying my best to understand6 what we had is all history.7 They say in this world, nothing lasts forever8 (so sad but true).9 But you smile, and the words they tell me quickly disappear, you speak and there is no other voice that I can hear.10 Since you went away,11 my loneliness is killing me.12 Bittersweet was the love that we shared.13 Why do these tears come at night?14 Cause the way that I feel,15 so sad and confused,16 broken,17 feeling low.18 It’s like an endless fight I never seem to win.19 The ring of yesterday, it seems so close to me, but yet so far away.20

Every time that I’m alone,21 I think of all the22 memories I’m saving.23 I’m looking at24 a picture of us two25—two bodies synchronising.26 We don’t talk anymore but,27 I’m sitting here,28 living in a29 sweet summertime30 dream of you and me.31 I’ve been thinking ‘bout how it’s been a while.32 I remember33 from April through September,34 the heat of the sun35 tingling36 my skin37; your shadow38 next to me.39 I’m thinking about40 your touch, your taste, your breath, your face, your hands,41 the look in your eyes.42 You tell me43 you are my summer breeze, my winter sun, my springtime soul, my autumn touch of gold.44 Our imagination, dancing45 to places we have never been before.46 I just need you to trust me.47 Jumping the hurdle,48 across the great divide:49 a glimpse of paradise.50 I never knew love like this could exist.51

Do you know this feeling? (2019), installation view
curated by Sebastian Henry-Jones 
Image credit: Zan Wimberley 

I remember52 your one and only pleasure,53 all tied up,54 decked in lace and leather.55 Trying to say goodbye but it’s hot and heavy,56 buttons coming loose.57 From the small of my back to the breath on my neck,58 I surrender self-control.59 It’s exactly what I’ve been yearning for. You tell me60 that we probably shouldn’t do this,61 if we’re gonna break up.62 Won’t you give me something to remember?63 Said that we were done but you’re all up on me.64 I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins.65 It feels good to be on top,66 you love it when I’m freakin’ out.67 Oh baby baby, we’ll do whatever you like.68 My body feels like an inferno,69 can you feel it burn?70 Hold me tight and don’t let go.71 Maybe I shouldn’t have given in, but I just couldn’t fight.72 All I want is73 you to make me move74 to a rhythm just like this.75

Memories can fade76 but it never disappears.77 Do you wish you could rewind time and take it back?78 At the same time,79 I don’t believe in fairy tales.80 Sometimes I think81 we should learn to walk before we run.82 You never said you wouldn’t make me cry.83 It was sink or swim when the tide came in.84 Memories I’m saving85 wash away,86 drowning in her sea.87

You tell me,88 ‘You have hurt me in ways a Gemini will never understand.’89 You tell me,90 ‘I’m91 so unpredictable.’92 You tell me,93 ‘my love is a mood ring.’94 I remember95 the words,96 it’s so clear to me.97 Where’d you come from talking like that?98

We’re not so different you and me,99 here we are with nothing but honesty.100 The look in your eyes101 made me realise,102 I can’t make you love me.103 I’m watching you disappear104 in a dream,105 it’s only your shadow.106

Time107 passes by too fast.108 All I really want is to hold you tight.109 Just the thought of being close to you,110 it feels so safe.111 Do you wonder the way that I do?112 Maybe if we both lived in a different world, it would be all good and maybe I could be your girl.113 All I do is check the screen to see if you’re ok.114

I keep wondering,115 is there still longing there?116 Let’s undo all the distance,117 take me back to that place in time.118 I know nothing really works that easily.119 I think of all the120 images121 of us122 and opening this letter that I’ve sent a hundred times,123 I’m learnin’124 it’s time to let you go.125

Again and again,126 I try to put it in the past127 but128 I promise you that I won’t forget. Let me feel the space between us growing deeper.129 I’m learnin’130 a new way of thinking now.131 Even though time132 will take us apart,133 the sense of loneliness will fade134, maybe someday.135

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  1. Britney Spears, ‘Born To Make You Happy’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  2. ibid.
  3. Britney Spears, ‘From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  4. Britney Spears, ‘Break The Ice’, Blackout, Jive Records (2008)
  5. Britney Spears, ‘Lonely’, Britney, Jive Records (2001)
  6. ibid.
  7. Britney Spears, ‘Don’t Go Knocking On My Door’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  8. Britney Spears, ‘I’ll Never Stop Loving You’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  9. Britney Spears, ‘Autumn Goodbye’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  10. ibid.
  11. Britney Spears, ‘E-Mail My Heart’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  12. Britney Spears, ‘Baby One More Time’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  13. ibid
  14. Britney Spears, ‘Lucky’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  15. Britney Spears, ‘I’ll Never Stop Loving You’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  16. Britney Spears, ‘One Kiss From You’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  17. Britney Spears, ‘From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  18. Britney Spears, ‘I Will Be There’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  19. Britney Spears, ‘Where Are You Now’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  20. ibid.
  21. Britney Spears, ‘Sometimes’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  22. Britney Spears, ‘Thinkin’ About You’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  23. Britney Spears, ‘Til It’s Gone’, Britney Jean, RCA Records (2013)
  24. Britney Spears, ‘Born To Make You Happy, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  25. Britney Spears, ‘Email My Heart’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  26. Britney Spears, ‘Breathe On Me’, In The Zone, Jive Records (2003)
  27. Britney Spears, ‘Love Me Down, Glory, RCA Records (2014)
  28. Britney Spears, ‘Born To Make You Happy’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  29. ibid.
  30. Britney Spears, ‘Autumn Goodbye’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  31. Britney Spears, ‘Born To Make You Happy’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  32. Britney Spears, ‘Break The Ice’, Blackout, Jive Records(2007)
  33. Britney Spears, ‘Autumn Goodbye’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  34. ibid.
  35. Britney Spears, ‘One Kiss From You’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  36. Britney Spears, ‘When I Found You’, Britney, Jive Records (2001)
  37. Britney Spears, ‘Mood Ring’, Glory, RCA Records (2016)
  38. Britney Spears, ‘Shadow’, In The Zone, Jive Records (2003)
  39. Britney Spears, ‘Heaven on Earth’, Blackout, Jive Records(2007)
  40. Britney Spears, ‘Born To Make You Happy’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  41. Britney Spears, ‘Heaven On Earth’, Blackout, Jive Records(2007)
  42. Britney Spears, ‘One Kiss From You’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  43. Britney Spears, ‘Sometimes’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  44. Britney Spears, ‘I Will Still Love You’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  45. Britney Spears, ‘If I’m Dancing’, Glory, RCA Records (2016)
  46. Britney Spears, ‘Breathe On Me’, In The Zone, Jive Records (2003)
  47. Britney Spears, ‘Invitation’, Glory, RCA Records (2016)
  48. Britney Spears, ‘Perfect Lover’, Blackout, Jive Records(2007)
  49. Britney Spears, ‘Everyday’, In The Zone, Jive Records (2003)
  50. Britney Spears, ‘When I Found You’, Britney, Jive Records (2001)
  51. Britney Spears, ‘Unusual You’, Circus, Jive Records (2008)
  52. Britney Spears, ‘Autumn Goodbye’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  53. Britney Spears, ‘Lace And Leather’, Circus, Jive Records (2008)
  54. Britney Spears, ‘I Wanna Go’, Femme Fatale, Jive Records (2011)
  55. Britney Spears, ‘Lace And Leather’, Circus, Jive Records (2008)
  56. Britney Spears, ‘Inside Out’, Femme Fatale, Jive Records (2011)
  57. Britney Spears, ‘Phonography’, Circus, Jive Records (2008)
  58. Britney Spears, ‘The Hook Up’, In The Zone, Jive Records (2003)
  59. Britney Spears, ‘Radar’, Blackout, Jive Records(2007)
  60. Britney Spears, ‘Sometimes’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  61. Britney Spears, ‘Inside Out’, Femme Fatale, Jive Records (2011)
  62. ibid.
  63. ibid.
  64. ibid.
  65. Britney Spears, ‘Circus’, Circus, Jive Records (2008)
  66. IchikawaEdward, it feels good to be on top (2018), stirrups, laser-etched leather, hardware, 300 x 50cm
  67. Britney Spears, ‘Mmm Papi’, Circus, Jive Records (2008)
  68. Britney Spears, ‘If You Seek Amy’, Circus, Jive Records (2008)
  69. Britney Spears, ‘Perfect Lover’, Blackout, Jive Records(2007)
  70. Britney Spears, ‘In The Zone’, In The Zone, Jive Records (2003)
  71. Britney Spears, ‘Mmm Papi’, Circus, Jive Records (2008)
  72. Britney Spears, ‘Blur’, Circus, Jive Records (2008)
  73. Britney Spears, ‘My Only Wish (This Year), Five Songs of Christmas Pop!, Jive Records (2012)
  74. Britney Spears, ‘Make Me…’, Glory, RCA Records (2016)
  75. Britney Spears, ‘Beat Goes On’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  76. Britney Spears, ‘Autumn Goodbye’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  77. Britney Spears, ‘Out From Under’, Circus, Jive Records (2008)
  78. Britney Spears, ‘Shattered Glass’, Circus, Jive Records (2008)
  79. Britney Spears, ‘Boys’, Britney, Jive Records (2001)
  80. Britney Spears, ‘Cinderella’, Britney, Jive Records (2001)
  81. Britney Spears, ‘Girl In The Mirror’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  82. Britney Spears, ‘One Kiss From You’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  83. Britney Spears, ‘Autumn Goodbye’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  84. Britney Spears, ‘When I Found You’, Britney, Jive Records (2001)
  85. Britney Spears, ‘Til It’s Gone’, Britney Jean, RCA Records (2013)
  86. Britney Spears, ‘Everyday’, In The Zone, Jive Records (2003)
  87. Britney Spears, ‘Mona Lisa’, Britney & Kevin: Chaotic, Jive Records (2005)
  88. Britney Spears, ‘Sometimes’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  89. Cee Powell, “romantic” (2019), school shirt, plaster, script, dimensions variable
  90. Britney Spears, ‘Sometimes’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  91. Britney Spears, ‘I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet A Woman’, Britney, Jive Records (2001)
  92. Britney Spears, ‘Mona Lisa’, Britney & Kevin: Chaotic, Jive Records (2005)
  93. Britney Spears, ‘Sometimes’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  94. Britney Spears, ‘Mood Ring’, Glory, RCA Records (2016)
  95. Britney Spears, ‘Autumn Goodbye’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  96. Britney Spears, ‘Don’t Let Me Be The Last To Know’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  97. Britney Spears, ‘Don’t Go Knocking On My Door’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  98. Britney Spears, ‘If I’m Dancing’, Glory, RCA Records (2016)
  99. Britney Spears, ‘Phonography’, Circus, Jive Records (2008)
  100. Britney Spears, ‘Cinderella’, Britney, Jive Records (2001)
  101. Britney Spears, ‘One Kiss From You’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  102. Britney Spears, ‘Bombastic Love’, Britney, Jive Records (2001)
  103. Britney Spears, ‘Can’t Make You Love Me’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  104. Britney Spears, ‘Shadow’, In The Zone, Jive Records (2003)
  105. Britney Spears, ‘Lucky’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  106. ibid.
  107. Britney Spears, ‘Autumn Goodbye’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  108. Britney Spears, ‘Thinkin’ Bout You’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  109. Britney Spears, ‘Sometimes’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  110. Britney Spears, ‘Can’t Make You Love Me’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  111. Britney Spears, ‘That’s Where You Take Me’, Britney, Jive Records (2001)
  112. Britney Spears, ‘I’m So Curious’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  113. Britney Spears, ‘Womanizer’, Circus, Jive Records (2008)
  114. Britney Spears, ‘Email My Heart’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  115. Britney Spears, ‘Where Are You Now’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  116. Britney Spears, ‘Perfume’, Britney Jean, RCA Records (2013)
  117. Britney Spears, ‘Better’, Glory, RCA Records (2016)
  118. Britney Spears, ‘Heaven On Earth’, Blackout, Jive Records (2007)
  119. Britney Spears, ‘Girl In The Mirror’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  120. Britney Spears, ‘Lonely’, Britney, Jive Records (2001)
  121. Britney Spears, ‘Heaven On Earth’, Blackout, Jive Records(2007)
  122. Britney Spears, ‘Email My Heart’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  123. ibid.
  124. Britney Spears, ‘Unusual You’, Circus, Jive Records (2008)
  125. Britney Spears, ‘Where Are You Now’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  126. Britney Spears, ‘Clumsy’, Glory, RCA Records (2016)
  127. Britney Spears, ‘Out From Under’, Circus, Jive Records (2008)
  128. Britney Spears, ‘Cinderella’, Britney, Jive Records (2001)
  129. ibid.
  130. Britney Spears, ‘Unusual You’, Circus, Jive Records (2008)
  131. ibid.
  132. Britney Spears, ‘From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  133. Britney Spears, ‘I Will Still Love You’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)
  134. Britney Spears, ‘Girl In The Mirror’, Oops!…I Did It Again, Jive Records (2000)
  135. Britney Spears, ‘Autumn Goodbye’, …Baby One More Time, Jive Records (1999)